S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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