do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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