If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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