super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
