Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
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