I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Randomize
