Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
