Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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