if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
