Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
