Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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