go do what you do best...puke behind churches
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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