But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
