i can't believe i had my finger in that
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
