I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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