whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
