It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize