I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Is it because I queefed?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
