what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin