all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.