I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs