Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
this is an emotional support booty call
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.