You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
