they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.