You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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