just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize