I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize