maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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