She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
