Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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