oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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