Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
