worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
