sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
We need to rekindle our bromance
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
