he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My vagina just recognized that song.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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