So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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