They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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