In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
