can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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