I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Can I color on your dick again?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Randomize