Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
