i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
