Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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