The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
