You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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