she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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