Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
