literally had 100 drinks last night.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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