if i can run in heels then i can drive
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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