I saw his package. It spoke to me.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
