She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
