You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
