even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
