I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
