Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
