I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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