Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
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as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
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The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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