Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
