i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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