it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Randomize
