ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
