I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
BRING THE BAGELS
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
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