Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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