who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Fuck me I smell like cheese
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
