he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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