That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
