Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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