I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize