She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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