So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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